Did My Heart Love 'Til Now?
by DarknessInTheValley8
Summary: 'I didn't get a good look at her before I slammed on the breaks, but I did see one thing, or didn't see it I suppose because there was no light reflecting off her eyes from the blinding light of the cars headlights. She was human...
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or ideas from the Host, they belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

"See you later Sandy!" I called. The elderly woman came rushing around the corner and enveloped me in a bear hug that could put a grizzly to shame.

"Oh, I'll miss you while you're gone Crystal!" she said.

"I'll only be gone a few days." I replied smiling, I was leaving this small town of Tucson, Arizona for Phoenix tonight as a healers convention was being held there.

"I know but still." Sandy was a good friend of mine; she'd taken me under her wing when I'd moved here from a small rural town in Australia.

"Well I'd better get home then," I said checking my watch. "I still have to pack."

A disapproving look crossed Sandy's face. "You still haven't packed yet? Honey what have you been doing?"

"Working." I said sheepishly.

"Sweetheart you have to stop doing this, you're running yourself into the ground." she said, face and voice full of concern. She put her hands on my shoulders and looked me over carefully, no doubt noticing the dark circles under my eyes, my greasy hair and the all over paleness of my skin. "Maybe you should stay in Phoenix for a few more days, take a break. I'm sure some of the other healers wouldn't mind covering your shifts, they all know how hard you work."

"Okay I'll do that." I agreed, mostly just to relieve her worry.

"Okay well if you'd like I could come and help you pack."

"No no, its fine, don't trouble yourself I don't need to take much." I said. Sandy was getting older and though she was by no means weak, she was beginning to get frailer and I didn't like to trouble her. Before she could protest I hugged her again. "I'll see you in a week, okay?"

"Alright, goodbye." Sandy replied.

"Sam! Come on girl!" I called and Sam the border collie bounded excitedly from around the reception desk and bounced energetically into the back of my old white SUV as soon as i had the door open. I waved to sandy and a few other healers that had gathered at the entrance to the clinic to see me off, as I drove out of the parking lot.

I rushed around the house again to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything. _'Toothbrush, hairbrush, clothes...' _I went through the list again in my mind. When I was sure I had everything I grabbed my car keys and handbag from the kitchen bench and my suitcase from the doorway.

"Sam!" I called as I stepped out the front door. I heard the tags on her collar jingle from around the hall as she rushed to join me at the door. "C'mon." I said as i closed the door behind her, leaving the pointless locks undone. My house had been there since before the souls had taken over from the humans, the locks were still there but they weren't necessary now. Sam followed me as I walked to my old white SUV. I opened the boot with the keys and she jumped in the back automatically. This was routine, we did it every day when we drove to work, but I wasn't going to work this time. I put my suitcase in the back next to her and went around to the driver's side. I put my handbag; well it was really more of a shoulder bag, safely on the passenger seat next to me. I always took that bag everywhere I went, it carried medical supplies. I never needed them but you could never be too cautious. I put the key into ignition and my old car roared to life. I turned the air-conditioning on full, it was almost winter in Tucson, Arizona but it was still hot. I could hear Sam panting in the back even though the sun had begun to set. As I adjusted the rear-view mirror I caught a glimpse of my face and frowned, there were dark circles underneath my silver-blue eyes, my dark auburn hair was stringy and greasy, I had been working myself a little too hard these last couple of days and I was tired. I pulled my hair back into a loose ponytail and reached over into my bag, i quickly found what i was looking for, Awake. I popped the cap off the white cylinder and sprayed the mist in a cloud in front of my face. I inhaled the grapefruit flavoured mist and immediately my head cleared, my focus was sharp. I put the awake back in my bag and pulled the car away from the driveway. _'This is going to be a long night.' _I thought to myself as my house disappeared from view.

It was around 10pm when i felt the Awake start to wear off. I sighed and turned the radio off in an effort to keep myself focused on the long road ahead of me. Sam had fallen asleep long ago; I could hear her quiet breathing in the backseat where she had moved to be closer to the air-conditioning, which I had turned off now that it was not so hot outside. I felt drowsy now and wondered whether I should use the awake again, I dismissed that thought; I didn't have to much further to go before I reached Phoenix. I looked out the window at the bright stars that filled the sky, they were beautiful, I had always had a fascination with them. I was distracted by them so I didn't see the figure that appeared on the road before me until it was too late. I didn't get a good look at her before I slammed on the breaks, but I did see one thing, or didn't see it I suppose because there was no light reflecting off her eyes from the blinding light of the cars headlights. She was human. I felt and heard the thunk when my car collided with her body. I heard a scream that seemed to come from very far away and before I could think about it, I shifted into emergency mode. I snatched my bag off the passenger seat and kicked my door open. I ran to the front of the car to where the human woman lay, she was out cold. I fell to my knees beside her and ripped open my bag, from it I snatched a bottle of Heal, it didn't matter that this woman was the enemy of my kind; I would not let her die. I ripped open the bottom half of her shirt and poured half the bottle onto her bleeding stomach, it wouldn't fix any broken bones but it would stop her from bleeding to death. Before the wound had fully closed I rolled her over and poured the rest of the Heal onto the back of her head. I was sure her head wouldn't have hit the ground hard enough to crack the skull or cause any real trauma to the brain, but I healed her bleeding head anyway just to be sure. Sam was at my side then, she was growling at something, I panicked then, it wasn't like Sam to ever be aggressive.

"MELANIE!" a man screamed from not far behind me, it sounded like the man was running. Then I saw him, he must've been another human because he pushed me aside and was frantically checking the human woman's pulse. I could hear others coming now, the man who had shouted saw the blood and the torn shirt and was searching for a wound but found only a small jagged scar. I heard he others approach and Sam stood protectively in front of me, she wasn't growling anymore but she would not relax. The human man who was kneeling by the woman I assumed was Melanie looked at the empty bottle of Heal still in my hand and hen at my face, his face was a mixture of shock and worry and I could tell that my expression mirrored his. _'What will they do to me?' _I thought. I was beginning to panic. Suddenly the man whipped out a white cylinder of his own and sprayed a light mist into m face. I drew in shocked gasp and as soon as I tasted the raspberry flavour I knew that breathe was a mistake. The last thing I felt was my head hit metal as I fell against the car. The last thing I heard was Sam's frantic barking, and then there was nothing, I slipped away into total blackness.


	2. Awakened

When I opened my eyes I was extremely disoriented. It took me a minute to remember who I was and then another minute to remember why I was unconscious. It all came back to me in a rush of pictures. The car, the blood, the woman the man, the raspberry flavoured mist. I searched the room I was in with my eyes, it was like nothing I had ever seen before, not really a room at all, there were holes in the ceiling.

"Doc, she's awake." said a gentle voice. I looked in the direction the voice came from to see a woman approaching me slowly. She looked about fifty, she had pretty features, most of which were framed by soft age lines. Her hair was light brown streaked through with silver; it was pulled back from her face in a loose bun at the nape of her neck. There was a man behind her, he walked more quickly with his long stride and made it over to the side of the bed first, well it wasn't a real bed, more of a cot. His face was gentle, so was his voice when he said "Hello, I'm Doc and this is Candy, we're humans but we promise we won't hurt you okay?" he paused, waiting for some kind of reply so I nodded and he smiled.

"What's your name?" said the human named Candy. It took me a moment to remember how to speak.

"Sunlight In The Ice Crystal, but everybody just calls me Crystal." I said my voice surprisingly calm, I figured if these humans wanted to kill me they'd have done it by now, so I wasn't as nervous as I probably should have been.

"Hello Crystal." said another female voice. My head snapped around to see four more humans enter the room through what looked like a black hole in the strange, purple, jagged wall. I released a breath I hadn't realised I'd been holding when I saw that the fifth figure to emerge was not that of a human, but of a large black and white dog. Relief washed through me.

"Oh, Sam!" I cried, she barked happily at the sound of my voice. She ran and jumped onto the cot I was laying on and began licking my face.

"Hey, Sami girl." I said hugging her around the shoulders. Once she settled down she saw that the little cot wasn't big enough for both of us to lie down on so she hopped off the side and rested her head next to my arm. The four humans who had entered approached me now, I stiffened and they stopped, all except the small baby-faced girl, she kept moving toward me slowly, she didn't look threatening but I didn't take my eyes off of her.

"It's okay Crystal," she said in a high-pitched, girly voice. "I'm like you, see?" she moved her face into the sun that came from the holes in the ceiling and brilliant beams of light shot from her eyes. I gasped, there was no denying, she was a soul.

"But, why... how... why are you-" I stammered.

"Calm down, calm down." She stopped me. "I'm here because I trust these humans, they're friends." She said.

"Then why am I here?" I asked, I certainly didn't trust these humans, they weren't friends to me. I brought my knees up to my chest and hugged them.

"Because you saved me." Said the other female with them, she too came to stand by my bed. "I'm Melanie." She said holding her hand out to me, I glanced at it and back at her face, I recognised her then, she was the one I saw in front of my headlights. I gasped.

"Are you alright? I didn't hurt you to badly did I? I can't believe I endangered you like that, so careless." I asked, the panic I'd felt leaking into my voice. She was shocked for a moment, then she smiled, I couldn't help noticing how pretty she was.

"No, no," her hand moved to my hand, comforting me. "My hip was broken, but if it hadn't been for you, I probably would have bled out before we made it back here," She said, she paused for a second and then continued, "and don't go blaming yourself for this, it was totally my fault, I ran out on the road without looking, it was a stupid mistake and you just happened to get stuck in the middle of it, I'm sorry." One of the two males that were still standing by the door's face went dark as Melanie spoke. I recognised him too, he was the man who had shouted, who had sprayed Asleep in my face. Melanie motioned for them to join us and they did.

"Crystal this is Jared, Ian and Wanda." Melanie said motioning to each of them, they all smiled at me, this confused me, weren't humans meant to be mean and violent toward souls? So far I'd seen nothing but kindness from them. Were they lying, pretending to be kind to me? But why would they do that? What would they gain from that? Surely they wouldn't be trying to get _that _information out of me? The human called Ian noticed my confusion. He had black hair and piercing blue eyes, his face was gentle, but I knew he could be lying, he was human after all.

"What's wrong" he asked, I could see concern on his face as he stood behind Wanda and put his arms around Wanda's tiny waist.

"I don't understand, humans are supposed to hate souls. Why are you being so kind to me?" I asked staring at my hands; I couldn't bring myself to look them in the eyes.

Doc answered this time. "We don't hurt souls here, we're good humans." I nodded, but I still didn't trust these humans.

"Crystal I have a question," It was Melanie who spoke, I looked at her and she continued. "If you're so afraid of humans, why did save me back there?"

The answer to that was simple, "Well my mother always said I was much to brave for my own good. When I hit you it didn't matter what you were, it only mattered that you hurt, so I helped. Besides I'm a soul; my compassionate nature wouldn't let me leave you for dead." Every face in the room was looking at me with a mixture of awe and appreciation now, I couldn't help but smile.

"Well that sounds like a mighty good reason to keep you around." Said yet another unfamiliar male voice. I didn't know whether to be relieved at his comment or scared. As I pondered this, two more males entered the room. The first was an old man with a scraggily grey beard covering half of his face, the man who followed him was much younger; he looked about my age, twenty-three. He had messy black hair that half covered his wide hazel eyes. Both men were smiling at me. They came to the side of the cot and Doc and Candy moved to make room. "I'm Jeb and this here's Jamie"

"Crystal." I said quietly, I was getting nervous, there were so many humans surrounding my bed, I hugged my knees tighter.

"So it's' true then, that you saved my sister?" Jamie blurted a little too enthusiastically. He grew even more excited when I nodded. "Wow! How'd you do it? Were you afraid? Are you a healer?" he bubbled.

"Slow down kiddo you're scaring her." Jeb said elbowing him gently as he noticed my growing anxiety.

"Sorry" he said, smiling crookedly at me, I smiled back weakly.

"That is a good question though." Doc's voice said from the end of my cot. "Are you a healer Crystal?" he asked, excitement and hope in his voice.

"Yes an animal healer." I replied. Excitement lit up Doc's face and I realized something. "Doc, are you a healer?"

"I guess you could say that, I'm a human doctor."

"Oh." _'Interesting.' _I thought.

"You talk weird." Jamie stated.

"Jamie!" Mel and Wanda scolded in unison.

"Sorry." He said to me. "But she does!" he said to them.

"Sorry 'bout him Crystal, he's not real experienced with accents. You're from Australia aren't you?" Jeb said to me.

"Yeah, I am." I replied.

"I've heard it's nice there, dry though."

"Yeah, it is."

"Where are _you_ actually from?" Wanda asked. I knew what she meant.

"Well, I was born on fire world, then I live a few life terms with the bats, then the bears and then I came here." Their eyes widened a little at the words fire world, especially Jeb's, I could see the curiosity light up his face. He quelled it quickly though.

"Before we ask Crystal anymore questions I think we should give her a proper tour of the caves, like we would any newcomer." Jeb proclaimed. The rest of them made sounds of agreement and looked at me expectantly. I nodded and Ian and Wanda stepped back so that I could get off the cot. My muscles were stiff and my joints popped as I stretched them out, it gave me the strangest feeling that I had been lying down for days instead of hours. I brushed the feeling off though as the others began moving towards the entrance. "First things first, this is the hospital wing." Jeb said gesturing around the room. As I observed the room a little more I noticed about three other cots placed in a row next to the one I had been laying on. At the end of them, in the far left of the room when facing the entrance, there was a small office desk with a few papers on it and behind that there was a filing cabinet. They had all now begun heading back the way they had come, except Jamie who noticed my hesitation, I wasn't exactly comfortable going into a black hole with a group of humans. "It's okay you can hold my hand if you want." He said holding his hand out to me. I hesitated again, I felt Sam nudge me in the back of the leg with her nose. I looked down at her; she gave me a reassuring bark and nudged me again. Finally I gave in and walked over to Jamie taking his hand. He led me into the hallway. "You've soft hands." Jamie said quietly to me.

"From working with healing medicines every day." I replied, I noticed his hands had calluses on them, and I thought I felt a few faint scars. It made sense these people seemed like they lived a tough life here.

"Right." He said in response. "So what's your dog's name?" he said, changing the subject abruptly.

"Sam." I replied, I had been walking with my free hand placed on her back, she seemed to know her way through this tunnel, which added to my conviction that we had been here for a while.

"Real loyal she is too." Ian's voice said from ahead of us. "She flipped out when we put you under, wouldn't let us take you, almost bit me, so we had to put her under too. I hope that's okay."

"Yeah we were a little worried that Asleep might have a negative effect on a dog, but she seemed to turn out okay." Doc contributed.

"Yes it's okay, all medicines used on humans are used for animals too, though Asleep and Awake last longer if the animal is smaller. Your chemical make-up is closer to theirs than you realise."

"Interesting." I heard Doc murmur. No more was said for a while until, but after a while the tunnel began to get lighter, there were more holes in the ceiling. We came to a pitch-black room that Jeb said was called the rec room, and that it was where they sometimes liked to play sports. I couldn't actually see the room but I assumed it was big if they played sports in there. The next room we came to was large and was filled with tall wheat plants. Jeb explained that the wheat was grown to be grinded into flour for bread. The room was also very bright; when I looked up at the ceiling I was almost blinded. That light was not coming solely from holes in the ceiling.

I turned to Jeb "Mirrors?" I guessed, pointing at the ceiling.

"Yeah." Jeb said, he seemed impressed that I had figured it out for myself. We continued walking down the hall and came to an even bigger room. This one Jeb called the 'main plaza' and I could see why, there were at least a dozen humans convened in this room and there were quite a few hallways that branched off from it, giving the feeling that this was the central part of the caves. I gripped Jamie's hand tight when I saw all of the humans, I was panicking again.

"Whoa, its okay, none of them will hurt you." Jamie said trying to loosen his hand from my grip, I let go quickly when I realized I'd dug my nails in.

"How many humans live here with you?" I asked, trying to keep the panic out of my voice.

"About thirty-five or so in this group." Jeb said, totally oblivious to my fear. "But we aren't the only group of rogue humans livin' around here and people move around from time to time." My panic grew, _'More humans living like this? How many can there be? How have the seekers not caught them?'_ My frantic thoughts were interrupted by Jeb's abrupt subject change. "Carrots will be ready for harvesting soon." He said pointing to a square patch of dark dirt in the middle of the room that was sprouting with almost-ripe carrot-tops. I noticed two children standing by the patch of dirt. They smiled and whispered excitedly to each other when they saw Sam.

Jamie laughed when he saw them. "They're fascinated with her." He explained, and then he turned a little sad. "They've never seen a real dog in person before." This made me sad too; they really had missed out on a lot. Sam happily trotted over to the two boys. They began to cautiously pat her, and the younger of the two squealed with delight when she licked his face. It made me smile, the first real smile all day. When I looked at Jamie he was smiling too, but at me. Then he strode over to the boys and began chatting with them. I followed him and knelt down by the carrots and smelled them. The smell was of earth mixed with the fresh scent of plants that had just been watered. It smelled so familiar, like home. It brought memories of me back on my parent's farm, helping my mother in the vegetable garden. This memory sent a pang through my heart, I missed my parents. I felt the sting of tears in my eyes but I blinked them away before anyone noticed.

"Well, we best get a move on, times a wastin'." Jeb called to us. I got up and followed as he led the way down another hallway until we came to a long, bright room where there were more humans. There were many more than in the main plaza and they were all sitting, chatting and eating at bench-like structures. Off to the left of the room was another of the benches that was quite a bit larger than the ones the humans were using as tables, it had large plastic tubs placed on it and I couldn't really see from where I was standing but I guessed that they held food. Behind that was a furnace, or rather, a wood-fire oven type structure. The whole scene reminded me of a school cafeteria or a mess hall. Jeb turned to me, "In case you haven't already guessed this is the dining hall." He said. "I don't know about the rest of y'all but I'm starved." He called to the group. He made his way over to the bench that held the tubs of food and began helping himself. The rest of us followed his lead. We all grabbed some bread and a bowl of watery soup. The others also got some white, tubular things that I could only assume where vegetables, but I decided to pass on them. As soon as I turned away from the bench I heard a booming voice call from across the room. It was so loud, and I was already wound up from the day's events, that I almost wore my soup.

"Hey guys, over here!" the voice called. It had come from a large man that looked so much like Ian that I had to assume they were brothers or at least family. Since the bench he was sitting at was almost empty we joined him.

Ian confirmed my earlier assumption when he said "Crystal, this is my brother Kyle and his girlfriend Sunny, she's a soul too." The woman who was sitting across from me was small with an olive complexion and black hair. Her eyes were a similar colour to her hair but could've sworn I saw the silver sheen behind them. She was looking at me with bright curious eyes.

"Sunlight Passing Through the Ice." She told me.

"Sunlight in the Ice Crystal." I replied, her eyes grew even wider.

"You're a bear too?" she exclaimed.

"Yes I was."

"Where were you from?"

"I lived mostly around the second crystal city."

"So I guess you've heard Wanda's story then?"

My only answer was a puzzled look.

"Lives in the Stars, Rides the Beast." Sunny clarified. Wanda groaned. My eyes widened as I remembered the story she meant, of course I'd heard the story, in fact I hadn't just heard it, I'd experienced it.

"That was you!" I choked; again I almost wore my soup as I tried to clear it from my windpipe.

Everyone gave me a weird look as I coughed and spluttered at what seemed like common knowledge to them. "Yup." Wanda answered me; I was obviously not the first person to be shocked by this fact.

"I was there, I was your guide!" I exclaimed. Wanda seemed uncomprehending at first, but then her eyes widened as she figured out what I was saying.

"That was you!" she echoed my earlier exclamation.

"Wait, hold on, guide? I thought you were a healer." Ian interrupted.

"I am –I mean I was, but all guides a-are required to be skilled with medicine." I stuttered as all of my words tried to make it out of my mouth at the same time.

"So you distracted the claw beast." Wanda trilled.

"Yeah, that was me." I said, a little sheepish.

"I had always wondered what happened to you!"

"So what did happen to you? Tell us your side of the story." Jeb suggested. All the people at our table were staring at me with something like awe. It happened a long time ago, but I remembered as if it were yesterday, you never forget being attacked by a claw beast.

"Well, when the claw beast attacked I was behind it, it didn't see me. I could have run, but I knew you were in trouble so I tried to distract the beast by tearing at its tail with my claws. It threw me off and I landed pretty hard. By the time I woke up in the snow it was quiet and you were gone. I was hurt pretty bad, two of my legs were broken and I was bleeding internally but I was able to make it back to the city we'd come from. They put me n a cryotank while they tried to heal my body but it was too late, it couldn't be saved, so they put me into a new born cub. I tried to find you but by the time I was old enough you were gone.

"Wow. You saved our lives out there, if it hadn't been for you the claw beast would have killed us. I was always sorry I never saw you again and always felt guilty about leaving you out there." She said, guilt shadowing her pretty features.

"Don't feel bad, there wasn't anything you could have done for me." I said, smiling to comfort her. I had a feeling that Wanda and I would be good friends from that point. The others chatted while we ate, I didn't pay much attention, they talked mostly about things and people I had no clue about. When I was halfway done with my food Sam whined, I looked down at her. Realising that she must've been hungry too I put the remains of my food on the floor for her. She lapped up the soup and ate the tough bread n about half a minute. By that time the others were finishing up too. We took our bowls back to the serving bench and placed them into some empty tubs. I then followed them out of the dining hall and back into the main room, Jamie and Sam still at my sides. I was again surprised when the other humans looked at me with only mild interest instead of hate, except one face. It was the face of a woman who looked to be about thirty, she could have been pretty, but her face was twisted with scorn and it was directed at me. She also had vivid orange hair. The colour sent another pang through me; my best friend from when I was a kid had hair a similar colour. I looked away from her and kept moving with the group down a narrow corridor. As we walked I began to feel the air get stuffy, wet. I also thought I heard the sound of running water. I saw why as we came to a new room. It was a large bright room with two rivers running through the middle. The air was thick with steam and there were a few humans washing clothes in one of the rivers. It reminded me very much of a sauna or a Japanese bath house. I felt a little claustrophobic in there, but I listened intently as Jeb explained how the room worked and where the bathing room and toilet were, this I would need to know.

"Well I think that's about it 'cept for the bedrooms." Jeb said. "I hope you don't mind, you'll be bunking with Jamie, that's the only place available.

"Is that okay?" Jamie asked. "Because I could move somewhere else until-"

"No no, that's okay." I assured him. Of all the humans here he was the only one that made me feel almost comfortable, and I didn't want to cause any trouble by tipping him out of his room.

"Well I think we best get to doin' some chores." Jeb announced. For the rest of the day I washed dishes, helped irrigate the carrot field and by the end I was helping two older women named Trudy and Lucina to prepare the next meal. It was the same as the last, mushy soup, bread and those strange white vegetables. When we were almost done people started to arrive for dinner. Trudy suggested we do the same and so we grabbed some soup and bread, and this time I took one of the weird tubular vegetables. They didn't look all that appealing and reminded me a lot of cauliflower, my least favourite vegetable, but I had always been one to try things before decided I didn't like them. I'd barely finished getting myself some food when Jamie called me over to the empty bench he was sitting at. I sat down, we didn't really speak apart from hellos so I bit into the strange white vegetable and Jamie laughed at the face I made as I chewed. "Yeah they take some getting used to." He said, it was not unbearably horrible, but it was unpleasant. They were crunchy, dry and tasteless; it scratched my throat a little as I swallowed. I offered it to Sam, who sat by me on the floor, and she munched on it gratefully, she'd eat anything. When I'd finished half my food I put the rest on the floor for Sam as I had done at lunch.

"You can give her her own food you know; you don't have to give her yours." Jamie said kindly.

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah she worked Justas hard as the rest of us today, I think she deserves it." He continued, it was true; Sam had been fetching tools and dragging heavy bags of flour with us today. She had worked just as hard as the rest of us, but she looked content for now. When both Jamie and Sam had finished I asked "So what now?"

"Well, Wanda usually tells stories, but we've heard most of them already so we thought you could tell us."

"Stories? About what?" I asked.

"About other worlds." Jamie replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh, uh, I-I don't think-" I stammered.

"I think that's a great idea!" said Wanda's voice from a table near ours. People were beginning to look at me half-expectantly at this point.

"You were born on Fire World right?" Jamie asked.

"Yeah." I said wearily.

"What's it like there? Tell us about it."

"Um, it's hot." I replied. Jamie rolled his eyes and a few people laughed.

"C'mon give us more detail than that."

"Uh, okay." I said. So I did, I told them how Fire Tasters were essentially living rocks. How, instead of eyes they had extremely sensitive motion sensors all over their bodies and how their skin was porous to absorb nutrients from burning living flowers. I also told them how I'd hated doing this and opted to relocate as soon as possible. Wanda had helped me in some places, it was obvious that she was a story teller and I wasn't. "On that world I had been called something like Burns Flowers Gently. It doesn't really make sense here but it's only a rough translation. I changed my name on Singing World because I didn't really want to be a part of Fire World anymore." I finished, Jamie looked like he wanted to question me more but everyone started to disperse then. I looked at my watch, 8:00, not late but could see how everyone would be tired after working like they had all day. I got up as Jamie did and followed him out of the dining area.

"You smell like you could use a bath." Jamie stated.

"Thanks." I replied dryly, though I did smell myself and as I'd expected I definitely didn't smell like a bunch of roses. I remembered that I hadn't showered in a while. Jamie led me back through the caves to where the path spilt off into many different paths. Jamie chose the fourth path from the left and as I followed him down it I saw it held many small rooms, the doorways were all covered by things like sheets rugs and room-dividers. We stopped at the very last one on the left; it was covered by a large red and range floor rug with a triangular design on it. Jamie pulled it aside and gestured for me to enter. The room was reasonably large with enough room to fit a single and a double mattress. It was also very bright, with quite a few fist sized hole in the roof.

"You and Sam can take that one." Jamie said pointing to the double mattress. On it sat my suitcase and shoulder bag. I went to my suitcase and got out some pyjamas, soap and shampoo. When I had done this Jamie led me out of the bedroom, through the caves and to the bathing room. When we got there he said he'd wait for me so I went into the room and took off my clothes. It was pitch black so I had to feel for the edge of the little pool. When I found it I slid in carefully, the water was luke warm and there was a gentle current around my legs. Once I'd washed my hair and my body I decided I should wash my clothes too so I scrubbed them clean with my soap. As I did I noticed something on the back of my shirt collar, something dry and hard like a stain from some thick liquid. I knew it hadn't been there before I'd been brought here. _'No it can't be.' _I thought as my brain came up with the only possible answer. I then hurriedly jumped out of the pool, dried myself as best I could with my damp clothes. I threw on my dry clothes, grabbed my stuff and ran out of the room. As soon as I was in the light my fears were confirmed, the stain on the back of my collar was blood. I gently touched the scar at the base of my skull.

"Took you long enough." Jamie said with a smile standing up from where he'd been sitting on the ground. His smile melted away when he realized what I was looking at.

"What is this?" I asked, though this wasn't the question I really wanted to ask. Jamie seemed to know what I meant though.

"That uh," he didn't seem to know how to how to explain. "We uh, well we-"

"You-you took me out didn't you?" I asked, praying it wasn't true. Guilt filled Jamie's expression and he nodded. Suddenly I couldn't breathe; again I touched the scar on the back of my neck. I'd never felt so violated, that they would actually remove me from my body. Suddenly I knew why I felt like I'd been here for more than one night.

"Why?" My voice was barely a whisper.

"To try to see if your, uh, host would wake up." He said. When I gave him nothing but a blank look, he continued. "Well what would you expect us to do Crystal?"

The question caught me off guard, so ignored it and asked another of my own. "What would you have done with me if... my body had woken up?" I asked, fearing the answer.

"We would have sent you to another world." He said quietly. A better answer than I could have expected from humans, but still bad. I realized then just how close I'd come to being shipped off to another world, away from my home. "I'm sorry Crystal." I didn't reply, just started walking back to the bedroom. I heard him following me and Sam walked alongside me. When we got back Jamie took my wet clothes from me and hung them over a standing wooden towel rail of to the left side of the room. "So I guess we should get some sleep." Jamie said, I nodded without looking at him. Once again I went to my suitcase, this time I pulled out a small baby-pink blanket that had teddy bears on it. "Is that a security blanket?" Jamie asked, bewildered.

"Yeah, I've had it since I was a baby, I don't usually sleep with it, but I still take it everywhere." I mumbled. This only confused him more.

"A baby?"

"Yeah, I've been in this body since it was a newborn."

"Oh, okay." He said. If he was disgusted or hateful, then he did a good job of hiding it. I laid down on the mattress, Sam curled up beside me. I hugged my blanket tightly to my chest; I'd never needed it more than I needed it now. We lay in silence for a while, until I couldn't bear it anymore. I already knew the answer but I had to ask anyway.

"Jamie?" I whispered.

"Yeah." He replied.

"Will I ever be able to go home?" I said and painstakingly waited for an answer.

"No, I'm sorry." He whispered, it sounded like genuinely was sorry. _'Well I guess he kind of understands what it's like to lose his home.' _Though I knew it already, the answer hit me harder than I'd expected. Tears flooded my eyes and I buried my face in my pillow and tried not to sob. I dreamt of my parents that night, when I'd finally cried myself out. I dreamt of their horrified faces, their tears. Just as I had cried myself to sleep, I cried myself awake. I never really got the term 'broken heart' before, but now I understood as I felt the unbearable ache in my chest. I wondered what time it was as I saw the first rays of morning sun peak through the holes in the ceiling. I looked at my watch; it said 5:30 am. Though this was usually the time I got up, I stayed in bed, after all, what was I supposed to do? I was stuck in some strange caves in the middle of a desert surrounded by humans. _'Why me?'_ I thought bitterly. The bitterness was quickly replaced by shock, I'd never felt anger that intense before. About half an hour had gone by when I heard Jamie stir on the other side of the room. He sat up and looked over at me. "Good morning." He said, I looked over at him but I didn't reply, or try to smile like I usually would have. "Or not." Jamie said under his breath. I sat up and grabbed a small hand-held mirror. As I'd suspected I wasn't that great. My eyes were red and swollen. I was a mess. I put the mirror back, grabbed a hairbrush and pulled it quickly through my hair. Once I was done Jamie waited outside while I changed and then we headed off for breakfast. Throughout the rest of the day I mostly just moped around doing whatever I was told. A few people noticed my mood and tried to cheer me up but everywhere I looked I was reminded that I would probably never get out of here. The only one that cheered me up was Sam. Even though I had lost everything else, I still had her and that counted for something.

**Thanks ForeverBlonde and Miyu Hinamori, your reviews are much appreciated :D **


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